Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize