I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's always time for handjobs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
