I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Randomize
