The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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