Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
