ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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