Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
