I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
