You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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