well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
