Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
