I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
