yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
