if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
