YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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