We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize