GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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