Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
