Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just found puke in my bra..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
