im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
then he tried to convert me to islam
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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