remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
