On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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