I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I intend to get homeless drunk
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
