whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is Oprah even human
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dude. I can hear the air.
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