Just fell off a train. Bad.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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