I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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