Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
