god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
