Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
