So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
