I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
