you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
