i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
