His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
