We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
