Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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