Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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