this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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