Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
