i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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