Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
