I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
