He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
as a side note pls kill me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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