My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
