if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize