this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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