im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
