He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
