Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
