maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
