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I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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