is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
