Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
