I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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