You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
