dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i think my cat just said my name.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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