they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
