You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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