If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
