you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
