What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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