I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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