Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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