Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
