he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
