I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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