Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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