I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize